Beat the Fear Factor

Fear has dominated our life in the 21st century. We are bombarded by every kind of fear imaginable. From the threat of an all-out war with nuclear technology to the air-borne virus that can end our lives in a matter of days, we are constantly set up to defend ourselves. This has considerably elevated our stress levels. We are not safe in our own skin and at our own home, for we have been subjected to the belief that the world is not a safe place to be in. Fear is a constant battle that besieges us in everything we do and in everything we dream of doing. Not being cognizant of this battle is the surest way to fall prey to it. Our fear will dominate our lives and also slowly but steadily take over our inner reality as well.

Fear is like a tumor that restricts our personal growth, a defense mechanism that lags behind as we evolve to become more complex human beings. Our fight or flight strategy has been one of the keystones in our evolutionary survival. Although self-preservation and self-procreation remain the most basic human instincts to this day, there have been major changes in the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. What has happened is that our fear has evolved together with the complexities of modern life. In addition to the real challenges of staying alive, competing for resources, and starting a family, we must also deal with the challenges of an uncertain future, a capricious job market, the dissolution of the traditional ways of life, and an ever-expanding circle of competencies and skills that we are expected to muster. The struggle for perfection and the challenge to realize our human potential have become some of the most important generators of fear today.

Most often than not, the fear of a real-time threat to our human survival has been replaced by a monster-under-the-bed syndrome, created and kept alive in our own imagination. Though we have no worries that we will be eaten alive by some primordial creature, this security defense mechanism always gets triggered when we are faced by things that we do not understand or that we believe are out of our control. A perception of a potential danger becomes a real-time threat when we become incapacitated because of our belief that we are too small and too insignificant to create order out of the disorder we live in. A paralysis of the mind is the surest way to a paralysis of action.

Perception is a prime factor in how we live our lives. It is our gateway to the outside world, an inter-subjective prism through which we behold, identify, analyze, and categorize everything that happens to us. Unfortunately, “what” and “how” we perceive often takes precedence over the “when” and the “why” of reality. We sometimes trick ourselves into believing that what we think or believe is the real thing. And nothing is more real than our own fears and insecurities, since they highlight our humanity and with it, our fallibility as human beings who make mistakes. Take for example a retrenching exercise by a single company in a specialized sector that is immediately deemed as fore-coming bad fortune to the rest of the community. Though the threat is far from real, our perception of what usually happens in similar situations becomes projected over the exercise, thereby equating the worse case scenario possible with the overall outcome of the exercise. Or the universal phobia of public speaking. For most people, talking in front of an audience gives them the shivers. The usual presumption is that they will make one single mistake and that every one will burst out laughing. And what a lot of professional public speakers will tell you is that although it is never easy to be on stage, the shivers of talking to hundreds or even thousands of people can help you focus and refine your ideas. The fear in their case helps them to concentrate and to become more effective presenters. The audience both understands and appreciates this. It is like making a leap of faith, knowing that you will be free when you make the first step. The first step is the crucial one and makes all the difference. The rest will come naturally and with more ease.

Fear stops us from achieving our best moments in life. It makes us fall short of what we are capable of doing. Go beyond that fear and you have won the first victory in whatever battle you are fighting. When we are young, the monsters under the bed terrorize us every single night. We envision all possible scenarios on how the monster will get up and eat us. When we call out to our parents to get rid of the monsters and they switch on the light, we feel that the monsters have disappeared forever. The light in itself is a realization that there is nothing real as far as the monster concerned. It is purely a figment of our imagination. Just like fear, it will disappear when we switch on the light of knowledge. That is the key to freeing ourselves from the prison of fear. Though fear is a personal experience, these remedies could help to desensitize the false reality of fear.

Awareness

The first step to beating fear in its own game is having an awareness of our own fear signals. We usually fail to notice the “how-s” and the “why-s” that fear arouses and the ways in which we can overcome them. Being self-aware takes practice. A way to track our fear signals is to keep a journal. A mental journal will work just fine too. Every time a pang of fear strikes you, take note of the symptoms, the environment in which it occurs, as well as the language that it gets translated into. Knowing all this information will help you illuminate your own perception and context of fear. You need true knowledge of yourself and your own reactions to combat the fear. That is your main ammunition against its tyranny. If you fail to notice its trigger mechanisms, you will not have a choice on how to respond to the situation. You will feel helpless and become a victim of circumstance. Accept the fear and let it pass through you. Do not let it bind you down and make the choices that you want to make yourself.

Control

Fear has a way of controlling our emotions and bodies in a way that at times make us feel as if we have no control over the situation. Once we let our fear decide on how we are supposed to react, it will consume us and give us no space to grow. We will then see that all roads lead to a dead end. To fight fear effectively, therefore, the control levers should always be in our hands. As our reality is based on our perception, we have the authority to decide on how our lives will run and who will run them. Fear only becomes a reality when we choose it to be. If fear stops you from achieving your dreams, it is not serving you well and should be eliminated. You have that choice in your hand, so use it or fear will.

Response

Having become aware of our fear and having gained control over it, we can then deal with responding to the particular situation. Though we have learned the value of knowing what fear creates in us, without response, we are surrendering ourselves to fear again. If we do not beat the fear down, it will be at our personal expense, and this fact will come back to haunt us. Whatever we resist will persist until we learn to domesticate our fear. There will be many missed opportunities if we fail to act. Imagine not taking the courage to tell your boss that you want a job that you feel fits you. Imagine not standing up against injustice that one day will blowback in your face. The worst feeling of all is not having a closure and allowing for your fear to dominate you. You owe it to yourself to move beyond the comfort zone and to reach for the stars. You owe it to yourself to risk and to make mistakes, to learn from them and to triumph eventually. Let fear be your lesson in life and not a scar that never heals. As Frank Herbert’s famous litany against fear goes:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Frank Herbert